Lesson 3 – The Christian Man in Marriage
The Christian man in marriage has rights, privileges and responsibilities that go along with the position of husband. God has made the husband the head of the family, which makes him carry a major responsibility for the success or failure of his marriage. The crisis facing many Christian homes today would disintegrate if husbands would assume the leadership God planned.
Some would say that men are amazing creatures. Constantly amazing us with the lack of common sense in relationship to women and the lack of Biblical sense when it comes to, “How to treat a wife.”
The admonitions given in the Bible to husbands are informative:
Ø Husband, cleave to your wife: and the two shall be one flesh (Matthew 19:4)
Ø No one should be closer to you than your marriage partner
Ø Husband, love your wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25)
Ø Sacrificial love. His interests will and desires become secondary to hers. If a husband loves his wife, in the true meaning of the word, he is willing to give of himself freely.
Ø Husband, love your wife as you do your own body (Ephesians 5:28)
Ø Husband, do not be harsh with your wife (Colossians 3:19)
Ø Husband, render to your wife the affection due her (I Corinthians 7:3)
Ø Husband, dwell with your wife according to knowledge (I Peter 3:7)
The Bible shows us that God is serious about how husbands live with and treat their wives. Malachi 2:13-16 & I Peter 3:7
Let’s look at this scripture in more detail.
1. I Peter 3:7
1.1.1. There is a manner in which a man dwells with his wife
18.104.22.168. By recognizing the importance of his role as the husband
22.214.171.124. Finding fulfillment in his responsibilities as a husband
126.96.36.199. Setting aside time for his wife as a husband
188.8.131.52. Helping his wife grow spiritually and intellectually
184.108.40.206. Continuing to study and learn about being a husband
1.2.1. Peter recognizes that a good husband does not just “happen”, they become such through knowledge.
1.2.2. Women account for 80% of the Christian books purchased in this country
1.2.3. Men need to realize being a good husband comes from studying and applying what is learned. Study what?
220.127.116.11. The Bible – What passage in the Bible that involves human relations does not apply to the husband-wife relationship?
18.104.22.168.1. Matthew 7:12 should first be applied at home.
22.214.171.124.2. Ephesians 4:32, if applied at home, would solve much.
126.96.36.199. Books that are Bible based and are written by knowledgeable authors
188.8.131.52. Learn from others experiences
1.3.1. How does the husband honor his wife
184.108.40.206. By wanting her as a friend
220.127.116.11.1. Proverbs 17:17
18.104.22.168. By being proud of her
22.214.171.124. By putting his trust in her
126.96.36.199. By involving her in present plans
188.8.131.52. By including her in future plans
184.108.40.206. By accepting her relatives
220.127.116.11. By being concerned about his appearance and actions
18.104.22.168. By wanting to please her
22.214.171.124. By talking to her about successes and failures
126.96.36.199. He recognizes that they are “joint heirs of the grace of life”
1.4. Weaker Vessel
1.4.1. How does the husband care for the “weaker vessel”?
188.8.131.52. He provides for her
184.108.40.206. He protects her
220.127.116.11. He can be there to hold her when she cries
18.104.22.168. He will never lay a hand on her except in love
1.5. So that your prayers be not hindered
1.5.1. By not following what is laid out by God, man is ignoring God
1.5.2. Ref. I Peter 3:12
2. A Christian man in marriage must:
2.1. Have two great loves in his life; his God above and his wife by his side
2.1.1. Ref. Deuteronomy 6:5
2.1.2. Ref. I John 4:19
2.1.3. Ref. Ephesians 5:25&28
2.2. Understand that God has made them the head of the wife and the homes they lead. The husband sets the tone of marital togetherness and family fellowship.
2.2.1. Ref. I Corinthians 11:3
2.2.2. Ref. Genesis 2:23
2.2.3. Ref. I Corinthians 11:8
2.2.4. Ref. Ephesians 5:23
2.2.5. Ref. Ephesians 6:4
2.3. Provide for their family
2.3.1. Ref. I Timothy 5:8
2.4. Understand and practice the real meaning of commitment and fidelity
2.4.1. Ref. I Corinthians 7:2-5
2.4.2. Those who do not abide in this teaching are told in I Corinthians 6:13-20 how they will be dealt with
2.4.3. Ref I Corinthians 6:9-
2.4.4. Ref Ephesians 5:1-6
2.5. Be a good companion
2.5.1. Ref I Corinthians 13:4-8
22.214.171.124. A husband who exhibits this kind of love is totally unselfish. He does not demand his rights but willingly surrenders his rights when such does not compromise his God-given role in the marriage. He identifies with the words in Romans 15:2-3
126.96.36.199. Realize that everything that happens to you affects your behavior toward our family
188.8.131.52. Don’t shut your wife off from the day to day activities, which affect you. These have a direct bearing on your family
184.108.40.206. Learn to share emotions
220.127.116.11.1. Men can cry
18.104.22.168. Control your anger
22.214.171.124.1. Ref Ephesians 4:26
126.96.36.199.2. If a man is wise, he will be slow to anger remembering James 1:19-20:
2.5.2. Do not become arrogant. Recognize your dependence on your wife. I Corinthians 11:11-12
188.8.131.52. When woman was created in Genesis, she was created to complement her husband. She became the completion of him. Her submission to the husband is based in response to his love, just as the church submits to Christ in response to his love.
2.5.3. Set aside a part of each day for family togetherness. Recent surveys show that the average American father spends only 7 ½ uninterrupted minutes per WEEK with his children.
2.5.4. Worship together. Enriches the bond
2.6. Continue the courtship after “I do”
2.7. Appreciate the many things the wife does
2.8. Take interest in the home
2.9. Learn about the emotional and psychological differences between men and women
2.9.1. Enhances the emotional and physical relationship in the marriage
2.10.Serve God faithfully
2.10.1. The husband is fundamentally responsible for the spiritual education of his family
2.10.2. Ref I Corinthians 14:33-35
2.11.Communicate in all aspects of marriage